She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So vagazzling was a success
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
