Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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