I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
