i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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