he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
