i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
