Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
