wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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