Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
