i just had sex bonerless
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
