She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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