i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
