The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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