my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
