you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize