You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
