An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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