Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm getting married
To pizza
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
