the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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