Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
