I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Mom said you looked used
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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