I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize