You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
