Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
