He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
two words...techno handjob
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
