She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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