theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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