First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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