the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
