Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
