As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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