u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
