As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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