Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
