Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
