i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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