the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
