I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize