As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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