Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
