What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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