You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
