I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
