There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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