Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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