you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
