he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
