i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
