Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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