i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
