his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
