We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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