why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i now understand why vodka
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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