I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bring me that man meat
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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