I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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