She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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