I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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