dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
