We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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